Friday 7 July 2017

Happy birthday to me - turning 23.

Today I turned 23 and last night I have a little bit of a sudden realisation, along the lines of crap your going to be 23. I know, I know, its not old, but to me I feel like I was only turning 18 5 minutes ago when in reality it was 5 years ago. But then I started to think about everything which I have done in the last 5 years. I was thinking of everything which has happened, the memories I have created, and what I have achieved. I think time flies by and we forget about so many things.

I am definitely one of those who lives for the future rather than the past. I love making memories, but having exciting plans makes me feel very fulfilled. During last nights mini breakdown, I was thinking 23 is the age that you have your sh*t together, and I really don't. I tweeted exactly how I was feeling, and I had so many lovely responses from people ageing from 25-35. Every single person said that they felt that they definitely did not have their sh*t together and wasn't sure if they ever would!

Now I don't know how we measure or judge what we actually classify as having your sh*t together as. Is it being wealthy, having a house, in a stable relationship, a good job, being married, children? I think I was feeling a little like this as when I was about 15 we all had this idea of what we wanted by 25 and by 30. I think by 25 I wanted a house and a boyfriend, and by 30 I wanted to be married with a baby. If life was only this simple right? I still have time for all of those (well 2 years for some!), but there's time. Maybe because I am a person who thinks about exciting things in the future, I have become focused on what I want to achieve and I am not actually living in the moment.

My mum says its because I have friends who are engaged, getting married this year, have houses with partners, and I have none of this. Should we measure life being complete by being in a nice, stable relationship. I think its 2017, and things have changed. I don't want to get into a relationship just because. I want to do it because its right, I want it to be spontaneous and because I want to. My mum was 23 when she got married, but she always says when you know, you know. To be fair, I love doing my own thing so much currently it would have to be someone fairly special.

I definitely do not class as having your life together as any of the above, the more I think about it I haven't got a clue what I would put into the category. There definitely isn't a clear definition. Everyone has different opinions and interpretations, and we should definitely think of our own goals and not compare ourselves to others.

So here is to being 23. In the grand scheme of things, maybe I do have my sh*t together. I have my own goals of want to achieve this year. We can be too hard on ourselves, and sometimes we have to tell ourselves actually we are doing pretty alright. I think we should all encourage ourselves and others, to think of all the things which are great in life. I will start - for me: I have great family, lovely friends, a roof over my head, a job I love and I am happy. Go make yourself a list, and come back and tell me Lucy I have my sh*t together!

I am so excited to see what this next year brings. Being 23 sounds alright actually!

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