Wednesday 17 January 2018

Hello Internet

So I came into 2018 which a fresh mind in regards to the blogging industry. But last night my eyes couldn't believe what they were reading. I am not going into detail about anything, however when someone is publicly targeted and called every name under the sun then that is going to affect someone.

Last August after 3 and a half years of having my blog, I finally had the courage to put up a post about my insecurities and how people perceive me on a daily basis. I have a thick skin, I definitely didn't when I was younger but honestly people can be truly vile. Troll or no troll, someone is writing these comments. I am proud to say never would I even in a heated discussion with someone would I ever first thrown out about their looks. It is so easy for people to throw out the words 'ugly' and 'fat'. It honestly makes me blood boil. I don't think I have ever met someone who hasn't had something offensive regarding their looks said to them.

This just made me remember something which I have thankfully not thought about in years. I remember at high school someone said something nasty to my best friend on Facebook, and I replied telling them to stop. The next minute some unknown person joined in and started calling me every name possible, and my entire school year saw it. I was honestly devastated. I remember going to bed that night and literally sobbing my heart out. Thankfully, like I say I have grown a slighter thicker skin. I know for sure I have grown up, and I am done with people's bullshit and opinions. I think I come across as quite a confident person; I am in some ways but not in a lot of others. I think this is because I really value my friendships, and if someone is being truly out of order I will say.

I do think some people go out of their way to cause drama, but I am not about that life. I am 23 years old and I see women still acting like petulant children, and being catty about something so minor. On the internet, this is made a million times worse as you get thousands of unknown people commenting on anything and everything, which 99% of the time has nothing at all to do with them. Honestly if one more person writes that bloggers blog for freebies, I think my eyes are going to roll out of my head. I am not holding back in this post, and one thing I have noticed when it comes to trolling is that a large proportion of these people (both male and female) are in their 30's and 40's with children. Now, I am not saying that just because you have children you cannot have an opinion on any social media. What I am saying is this age category should know better. No one, no matter what age, understands the repercussions of what their nasty comment will have. They have done it to simply create a reaction.

When I was at school, Facebook was the biggest social media platform alongside MSN messenger that we used. I would come home from school and hop straight onto the computer and onto the MSN messenger, and speak to all of my friends who I have spent the entire day with at school. As we had phone top ups I could not roam the internet freely for hours upon hours, and I kind of wish it was like that now. From this, I just want to highlight how when you type something, whether it being a direct comment, jumping on the bandwagon which seems to be the most popular one, or the worst of all writing or sharing a nasty post about someone please just stop for 5 seconds. All I want you to do is think what if that was me. I am not going to lie I have typed out some unkind messages when people have been on personal rants to me or my friends, and my initial reaction because my blood is boiling is to lower yourself to their level and write something equally as nasty back. There has been several occasions where as I am about to press post, I have had to take a deep breath and just delete it. It goes back to those simple morals of - if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I believe in only saying something to someone, which you would want someone to say back to you. Is it really isn't that hard to be nice. I often refresh my Twitter feed so I am only following people who are uplifting and positive, as people on a daily basis who moan and groan can be draining for you to read.

I am not going to really include too much regards into blogging, pitching and the rest of it. All I can say is in ten years when the blogging industry is actually recognised for being more than just collecting a few freebies, I will have a big smile of my face. I just don't get it I go to ballet lessons and have done since I was 3, and everyone still thinks that it is nice that I go. If you mention your blog online, people's first reaction is "do you get sent loads of samples?". No, it is just another hobby like anything else that people enjoy doing in their spare time.

What made me laugh in all this, is those parents, or anyone in that older age bracket who are trolling, is how many of them have bought some Youtuber merchandise for their children, niece/nephew or younger cousin? I am pretty sure Zalfie wouldn't be living in their glorious mansion, if people hadn't bought their merchandise. Just saying. Their biggest audience is definitely the 10-15 age bracket and these kids aren't buying it all themselves. I am a fan of Zoella, some bloggers love her and some dislike her. This is fine, as people are entitled to their own opinions, and can come to their own judgments on this. We are never going to like everyone. There are many YouTubers I don't like, but I simply do not subscribe to them. It is easy. These trolls come from nowhere and spend hours hopelessly creating arguments with anyone who has a slight difference of opinion, and it is simply just getting down right boring. I see it that is fine for the big Youtubers who have millions of followers as their merch keeps their kids happy, but it is not fine for anyone with a smaller audience as our opinions seem to become completely invalid.

I have come to realise that maybe I am allowing too much of myself to be on my social network pages, and it is something I am going to think about. As you can probably tell I am still livid, but I am most of all just massively disappointed in where we are at the moment. I think I am going to take a break from social media over the next few weeks, to clear my mind and not get caught up with all this nonsense. Tomorrow I am back in work for the first time in nearly two weeks after being off with the flu, and I have literally spent an embarrassing amount of hours in bed scrolling through social media. It is pretty rubbish to think that we have to 'take breaks' in order to clear our minds of all the crap that is out there on social media. I do think it is sometimes needed for our own sanity and I think I am at that point.

I think I need a holiday. Is anyone offering a free plane ticket?

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